Readjusting

First full day at home. Mina Brigitta shed a lot of tears today, beginning with a couple of uncharacteristic crying spells during the night and continuing throughout the day whenever she got frustrated, which seemed to happen a lot. As much as I know she prefers being home, the hospital has its own rhythms, routines and boundaries that I'm sure are comforting in a way. She also has one-to-one time with an adult all day long; I have to keep reminding myself that I can't expect her to sit down and play by herself all day long like she used to. And she's tired and very weak from being in the hospital and from having low red blood counts. She's still walking pretty gingerly, appearing to favor one leg (although it's definitely improved since last week), and she gets tired very quickly.

But it sure was fun to watch her occupy herself all day long. Just busy busy, all over the house. After being up until midnight last night, she didn't nap until 4:00, was up again at 6:00, and didn't fall asleep until 11:00. We'll try to start enforcing a better routine tomorrow; she needs to sleep. She's still eating like a bird, though it may have improved a little today. Again, we have to remind ourselves we can't expect too much too soon. It's just that we have a limited amount of time to help her get her strength back, and the clock is ticking. Isaac is enjoying having his sister home as well. He's just getting to the point where he really smiles at her. It's fun to watch them interact. Unfortunately, he's now sprouting two front teeth on the bottom, so he's a bit cranky.

I took the kids for a walk at the "agua park" this afternoon (Aquatic Park in Berkeley), and Mina Brigitta had a great time. She drinks in the stimulation like someone who's been in the desert for 40 days, which I guess she pretty much has. The birds, the dogs and most of all the kids were cause for squeals of delight and finger-pointing ("Zis!" "Zis!"). It was a bit hard for me to take, to tell the truth, knowing that she has to go back into isolation so soon and not knowing when she'll get out, if ever. I'd probably feel better if she didn't look so pale and thin and weak; right now she just doesn't really look like the hale and hearty girl she appeared to be even during the worst of her chemo last year.