Day +1087: Happy Birthday Dear Mina!
Can't believe our girl is five! This is the big one, the one we've been looking forward to all these years! The big day happened yesterday. I had meant to make a post talking about our plans, but things have been awfully busy lately.
Last year Mina wanted a big party with all of her school friends at our house. She didn't want to go to the playground, didn't want to do anything else but have everyone, and I mean everyone, over to our house. Thinking back, we hadn't really had that much company at our house up until that point. Mina was still getting to know her school friends, and we were still getting to know the parents. So it kind of makes sense that she wanted everyone to see her space. Now I kind of think of it as her "coming-out" party. Something like a debutante ball I guess, complete with the fancy gown. And it was a spectactular party. I'll never forget the precious moments after everyone left, when it was just us four and we were all tired, but still basking in the glow of the event.
This year what Mina really wanted was a sleepover. She didn't really want a big bash, but she really really wanted to have a few of her closest friends, especially Anika and Riley, sleep overnight. Teacher Julie told us we were crazy, that we should wait until Mina turns eight. But that's what Mina really wanted, and it again makes sense in that Mina now has a few very close friends, and what she wanted was to do something fun and different and more intimate with them. So we kept it relatively small, with Anika and Riley from school, Maddie who was one of Mina's best friends at school last year but now lives in Santa Cruz, Walt and Blaire's daughter Devon, and a few other kids from school that Mina invited partly to keep Isaac company: Miranda, who is Isaac's age and was in Isaac's Acrosports class, Ronan who is the only five-year old at school, and Ronan's sister Aiofe (EE-fah). Everyone showed up around 2 PM, and they played here for a while before we had cake and opened the presents. Afterwards we went to the nearby playground for a while, but it was very cold and windy and blowing sand so we didn't last long there. After we came home the girls all went and got into their pajamas without anyone telling them to (as far as I know), and then went to the table to make "bagel faces" (bagels with cream cheese and carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and olives to make faces with).
After dinner Mina, Anika, Riley, Maddie and Miranda went and crawled into the queen bed in the kids' room. I know Keri and Teri were working to get them into bed after dinner, but they didn't fuss about it at all. We had them width-wise across the bed and there was just room for the five of them. Then we I turned out all the lights and read "Curious George Goes to the Hospital", which the kids had picked out, and then the first four chapters of "The Boxcar Children". They listened very quietly for over an hour, but at about 9 PM Maddie and Riley both decided they had had enough, so I sent them out to the living room where Keri called their parents. Riley went home and came back in the morning, but Maddie ended up falling asleep with Keri in the living room, so I put her into bed with the other girls later and she was fine. I had been most worried about Miranda, because she's Isaac's age and because I just don't know her very well, but she was very determined to keep up with the big girls and she was the first one to fall asleep. Mina and Anika finally went down around 9:30, which is late a minor triumph as far as I'm concerned, especially because it went very smooth and there was no crying at all.
There wasn't even any crying during the night, but Anika woke up at some point in the wee hours and came out to tell me, very calmly and matter-of-factly, that she couldn't sleep and she didn't know why. I was sleeping on the couch so that Auntie Teri could have my spot in the bed, so I asked Anika is she wanted to lie next to me for a while, thinking she would go back down and I could just move her back into the girls' room. No such luck. She laid very quietly, but the couch isn't that wide and she didn't sleep and neither did I. After an hour or maybe longer, I finally asked her if she would go back to join her friends, and she did. But Teri and Keri got up shortly after at 5 AM so they could get Teri to the airport, and the girls pretty much woke up then. Isaac was sleeping between Keri and Teri and he cried and cried after they let, so I had to go lie with him. The girls did a remarkably good job at playing relatively quietly in the room next door while I laid with Isaac. And in fact they were in great moods all morning, even though they were short on sleep and there were so many potential points of conflict. I made a big breakfast of pancakes, and then they played like crazy while the parents came one-by-one to pick them up. Maddie was the last one to go at around 2:30, and then we spent a very nice and quiet afternoon together as a family.
All in all, I'd have to say that the party was a huge success. Everyone was on their best behavior, and they are all really good kids so they're pretty easy to have over. Mina was bouncing off the walls Saturday morning, and was overtired today after everyone left, but otherwise seemed to be having fun. I had written that she had a big smile on her face all weekend, but then I realized it wasn't really true. She actually had a pretty serious face a lot of the time, as if celebrating birthdays was serious business that required concentration to accomplish properly. But when I asked her today if it was everything she wanted for her birthday, her face lit up and she smiled and nodded and said yes. Then she added "I didn't expect my bed to be so CROW-ded!"
She got some great gifts, of course. Keri bought her a beautiful doll at a consignment shop. It has long blond hair and brown eyes, and looks like a little girl and not like a baby. Mina was very excited of course. She decided the doll was two years old, and she immediately wanted to name her, of course (she names everything these days). But she couldn't decide between Sarah and Lucy, so I don't think the doll has a name yet. It will be interesting to see the dynamic between the new doll and Lily. It's nice that the doll is obviously not a baby. And yet she's not a Barbie either with all of the bad body-image issues. Mina says Lily is excited to have an older sister. She opened the doll in the morning with just us around, then opened some more gifts in the afteroon. She made everyone gather around her on the floor while she sat on a little chair to open the gifts, and she very firmly and and yet very patiently made everyone watch her while she opened. Sean Rodriguez sent a big batch of gifts again this year, and we saved those for last to open just with the family like we did last year. It's so interesting to hear her talk about it -- everyone asks who Sean Rodriguez is, and Mina just says matter-of-factly "He's my donor!" That's just the way we'd like the whole thing to be -- a part of her history. Not a part to overemphasize, but not a part to shy away from either. Just something that is.
Speaking of her story, it's interesting, after so many years of looking forward to this birthday, how Mina's cancer was really not a part of the weekend. I suppose the time to focus on that will be in two weeks when we take our transplant anniversary trip to the Russian River. But this weekend was about a normal girl celebrating a normal fifth birthday with her normal friends. But what a special and extraordinary thing it is for us to be able to have that normalcy!
Last year Mina wanted a big party with all of her school friends at our house. She didn't want to go to the playground, didn't want to do anything else but have everyone, and I mean everyone, over to our house. Thinking back, we hadn't really had that much company at our house up until that point. Mina was still getting to know her school friends, and we were still getting to know the parents. So it kind of makes sense that she wanted everyone to see her space. Now I kind of think of it as her "coming-out" party. Something like a debutante ball I guess, complete with the fancy gown. And it was a spectactular party. I'll never forget the precious moments after everyone left, when it was just us four and we were all tired, but still basking in the glow of the event.
This year what Mina really wanted was a sleepover. She didn't really want a big bash, but she really really wanted to have a few of her closest friends, especially Anika and Riley, sleep overnight. Teacher Julie told us we were crazy, that we should wait until Mina turns eight. But that's what Mina really wanted, and it again makes sense in that Mina now has a few very close friends, and what she wanted was to do something fun and different and more intimate with them. So we kept it relatively small, with Anika and Riley from school, Maddie who was one of Mina's best friends at school last year but now lives in Santa Cruz, Walt and Blaire's daughter Devon, and a few other kids from school that Mina invited partly to keep Isaac company: Miranda, who is Isaac's age and was in Isaac's Acrosports class, Ronan who is the only five-year old at school, and Ronan's sister Aiofe (EE-fah). Everyone showed up around 2 PM, and they played here for a while before we had cake and opened the presents. Afterwards we went to the nearby playground for a while, but it was very cold and windy and blowing sand so we didn't last long there. After we came home the girls all went and got into their pajamas without anyone telling them to (as far as I know), and then went to the table to make "bagel faces" (bagels with cream cheese and carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and olives to make faces with).
After dinner Mina, Anika, Riley, Maddie and Miranda went and crawled into the queen bed in the kids' room. I know Keri and Teri were working to get them into bed after dinner, but they didn't fuss about it at all. We had them width-wise across the bed and there was just room for the five of them. Then we I turned out all the lights and read "Curious George Goes to the Hospital", which the kids had picked out, and then the first four chapters of "The Boxcar Children". They listened very quietly for over an hour, but at about 9 PM Maddie and Riley both decided they had had enough, so I sent them out to the living room where Keri called their parents. Riley went home and came back in the morning, but Maddie ended up falling asleep with Keri in the living room, so I put her into bed with the other girls later and she was fine. I had been most worried about Miranda, because she's Isaac's age and because I just don't know her very well, but she was very determined to keep up with the big girls and she was the first one to fall asleep. Mina and Anika finally went down around 9:30, which is late a minor triumph as far as I'm concerned, especially because it went very smooth and there was no crying at all.
There wasn't even any crying during the night, but Anika woke up at some point in the wee hours and came out to tell me, very calmly and matter-of-factly, that she couldn't sleep and she didn't know why. I was sleeping on the couch so that Auntie Teri could have my spot in the bed, so I asked Anika is she wanted to lie next to me for a while, thinking she would go back down and I could just move her back into the girls' room. No such luck. She laid very quietly, but the couch isn't that wide and she didn't sleep and neither did I. After an hour or maybe longer, I finally asked her if she would go back to join her friends, and she did. But Teri and Keri got up shortly after at 5 AM so they could get Teri to the airport, and the girls pretty much woke up then. Isaac was sleeping between Keri and Teri and he cried and cried after they let, so I had to go lie with him. The girls did a remarkably good job at playing relatively quietly in the room next door while I laid with Isaac. And in fact they were in great moods all morning, even though they were short on sleep and there were so many potential points of conflict. I made a big breakfast of pancakes, and then they played like crazy while the parents came one-by-one to pick them up. Maddie was the last one to go at around 2:30, and then we spent a very nice and quiet afternoon together as a family.
All in all, I'd have to say that the party was a huge success. Everyone was on their best behavior, and they are all really good kids so they're pretty easy to have over. Mina was bouncing off the walls Saturday morning, and was overtired today after everyone left, but otherwise seemed to be having fun. I had written that she had a big smile on her face all weekend, but then I realized it wasn't really true. She actually had a pretty serious face a lot of the time, as if celebrating birthdays was serious business that required concentration to accomplish properly. But when I asked her today if it was everything she wanted for her birthday, her face lit up and she smiled and nodded and said yes. Then she added "I didn't expect my bed to be so CROW-ded!"
She got some great gifts, of course. Keri bought her a beautiful doll at a consignment shop. It has long blond hair and brown eyes, and looks like a little girl and not like a baby. Mina was very excited of course. She decided the doll was two years old, and she immediately wanted to name her, of course (she names everything these days). But she couldn't decide between Sarah and Lucy, so I don't think the doll has a name yet. It will be interesting to see the dynamic between the new doll and Lily. It's nice that the doll is obviously not a baby. And yet she's not a Barbie either with all of the bad body-image issues. Mina says Lily is excited to have an older sister. She opened the doll in the morning with just us around, then opened some more gifts in the afteroon. She made everyone gather around her on the floor while she sat on a little chair to open the gifts, and she very firmly and and yet very patiently made everyone watch her while she opened. Sean Rodriguez sent a big batch of gifts again this year, and we saved those for last to open just with the family like we did last year. It's so interesting to hear her talk about it -- everyone asks who Sean Rodriguez is, and Mina just says matter-of-factly "He's my donor!" That's just the way we'd like the whole thing to be -- a part of her history. Not a part to overemphasize, but not a part to shy away from either. Just something that is.
Speaking of her story, it's interesting, after so many years of looking forward to this birthday, how Mina's cancer was really not a part of the weekend. I suppose the time to focus on that will be in two weeks when we take our transplant anniversary trip to the Russian River. But this weekend was about a normal girl celebrating a normal fifth birthday with her normal friends. But what a special and extraordinary thing it is for us to be able to have that normalcy!
posted by Arne Olson @ 9:15 PM
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